<3

I am sorry if this is going to hurt people... but in a way I am not.
I like being this happy. =]

Hey you.

I think back on it and start to smile.
my heart skips a beat and I really wonder.
So what's next?
because its all I think about =]
You are all I think about.

Talent Show

It went really well.
I had lots of fun, even with being scared.
my parents came =]

in the end it was just a really really good night.

Someday...

I hope to be great.

Growing up over time

I just had my birthday and the day/night before I had butterflies in my stomach because I was scared to turn 16. Most my friends already are and have been driving and doing all the 16 year old stuff so I don't know what was making me nervous. I thought about it more and I decided I was afraid of some unreal drastic change in who I am. I woke up and nothing felt different at all. At school some random people said happy birthday and in 2 classes they sang but not much more attention then that. I came home and my mom went a little crazy with the whole "sweet 16" but that just made me smile a whole lot because she normally does not do that stuff. I had a small party and no crazy gifts really... and acted like a little kid and played at the park and pretended with my friends, we were Harry Potter characters and I was Cedric Diggory, I laughed so much my abs hurt and smiled so much my face hurt. I had the most fun I have had in a long time, and I realized that you really don't change from one night to the next it all happens over time.

I know look at pictures and finally I see myself as being sixteen, I see all my friends as being older.
I always thought that something was weird with my class or something because they never seemed like the kids older then us or even younger but that is just because it was how I looked at it all, now I see. You don't need all the make-up and clothes that they shoe in the movies and the actors are usually older then the characters they are playing, so it just gives you false ideas.

I believe that I am sixteen and that I am living a great life.

I'm 16 =]

3 Days...

by then so many things will have happened I will probably not even be thinking about being 16

pop show
homework
talent show
church work
dance
flags
boys
car
sleeping
breathing
stress
blah

the weekend could never feel so far away.

Dear people who wrote on my chalkboard,

I never erased the "Happy 16th B-day Liz in 6 days"
off my chalkboard after all the fun.

Today when I got home from church it said 5 days...
I think my dad changed it, since it does not look anything like how my mom writes

that made my day

Love, Elizabeth

The reasons

I am a bitch to you and you put up with it all
all I am doing is hurting you and I feel horrible about it
I don't know what I want
I never think straight
I wanted to tell you all of this to your face
I tried to think of ways to make it all better
but I over thought, tried to hard, just made things worse.

I am sorry.



I love you, but I know its to late.

Don't waste your time

It's over, it's over, it's over:

It seems you can't hear me
When I open my mouth you never listen
You say stay, but what does that mean
Do you think I honestly want to be reminded forever

Don't waste your time trying to fix
What I want to erase
What I need to forget
Don't waste your time on me my friend
Friend, what does that even mean
I don't want your hand
You'll only pull me down
So save your breath
Don't waste your song
On me, on me
Don't waste your time

It's not easy not answering
Every time I want to talk to you
But I can't
If you only knew the hell I put myself through
Replaying memories in my head of you and I
Every night

Don't waste your time trying to fix
What I want to erase
What I need to forget
Don't waste your time on me my friend
Friend, what does that even mean
I don't want your hand
You'll only pull me down
So save your breath
Don't waste your song
On me, on me
Don't waste your time

You're callin'
You're talkin'
You're tryin'
Tryin' to get in
But it's over, it's over, it's over
Friend

Don't waste your time trying to fix it
So save your breath, don't waste your song
On me, on me
Don't waste your time

You held me
You felt me
You left me
But it's over, it's over, it's over
You touched me
You had me
But it's over, it's over, it's over my friend
Don't waste my time

Phase?

She told me its just a phase as the tears ran down my face.
Things like this happen when you are in High School.
I don't think she realized that I was silently crying as we drove home.
"Do you want to get an ice cream cone?"
I told her I was fine, but she passed the turn towards our house
She really bought me a chocolate blizzard thing that was new
When she asked a few questions I could barely answer through the tears
I was scared she would yell at me like when I was little for crying
but she said nothing about it
When we got home I could tell she was trying to make me not think about it
There was no "bedtime" and some other things she said I could think about if I wanted to change my mind
As I went to bed, I realized I never tell her anything... but who else is there to tell
Unless I wanted curiosity and not help
or fake sympathy that last 2 days

I have a feeling this phase is not going to pass soon... or ever.