I pretty much had the same thing happening to me.
This Year
a week ago he told me he liked me
and today I think I would tell him the same, but I can't because I am going to Simpson
Last year
a week ago I told him I liked him, then left for the Orchestra trip
and today he asked me out
the way I think he is telling the truth
that I am letting other people tell me what to do
how I want to just believe him
that I just want to scream yes
how his status makes me feel bad
that I can not make this decision on my own
Yeah... I am just going to talk to him, and in the end I think I might say yes =\
*please don't hate me*
In the moonlight
my face it glows
like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
and my hair flows like
the ocean breeze
not a million fights
could make you hate me
I'm invincible
yeah, It’s true
it’s in my eyes
where you find peace
is it broken?
can we work it out?
let’s light up the town, scream out loud!
is it broken?
can we work it out?
you can see in my eyes
I'm ready to break
don’t look away.
so here we are now
in a place where
the sun blended
with the ocean thin.
so thin, we stand
across from each other
together we’ll wonder
if we will last these days
if you asked me to stay
would I tell you
would I be yours?
and time
is all you ask for
time
you just need one more day
and time
I've been crying too long
time
and my tears wrote this song
stay
in the moonlight
my face it glows
is it broken?
can we work it out?
let’s light up the town, scream out loud!
is it broken?
can we work it out?
you can see in my eyes
I'm ready to break
don’t look away.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
yeah... thats about all I can say
oh and
BOYS ARE CONFUSING, ugh.
*sigh* I need some Ramen... and my friends to be more like Samantha Brooks...
~*I want to say yes... but I am scared*~
If school was not worse enough
my hour after words was the last thing I need to happen...
So I drove my moped to Kwik Star because my back tire needed air
I try putting air in it and it did not help at all
so I decide to go home and talk to my parents about it later
as I am driving away from Kwik Star my moped was freaking so I had to stop and pull over
as I stood on the side of the rode I realized I was screwed
so my only thought is, ok just walk the moped over to Wartburg and talk to mom
that must have been the crappiest thing to do because 1) I had a very heavy backpack 2) the back tire was completely flat
but eventually I made it and walked to my moms office
when I got there she was on the phone with my dad and told him to come get me with the truck
I go outside to see him and Lucas putting my moped in the back of the truck and then my dad says the we will go to Casey's to try and put air in it
I sit in the bed of the truck with the moped and when we get there he managed to get the air in the tire
So he tells me to just ride it home which my mom said I should do so I had brought my helmet and keys and sunglasses and left my backpack and coat with my mom.
My dad says he will see me later because him and Lucas were going to go pick up Lucas' car =DD
so I rode home fine and later will get to hang out with my friends
I had crazy stupid horrible happy annoying painful day but hey good news is Lucas is buying a car so the second I get my license when I turn 16 I get the black car to myself =DDDDD
P.S. I have a weird burn on my knuckle from when I tried to put air in the tire the first time, and it hurts a lot =P
~*209 days*~
I just knew it when you...
~started giving me a massage without me asking
~looked me and the eyes and started singing
is all you did.
and it brightened my day
and it helped me move on
and it showed me how things should be
and it made me realize that things can be ok
best of all... I don't think you even knew you did anything
and that small thing has helped my life more then I ever thought it could.
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.
~*Stephen Chbosky
So I do a lot of dumb myspace surveys that people post as bulletins and many have the question,
"Are you scared to fall in love?"
and I usually say no but to tell you the truth I think I am scared, and think thats why sometimes I think to much about guys or something and I think I just tried to tell myself that I am not scared because its not a scary thing. But then again, I thought I was in love once... but how did I really know, how do I know it was true and I was not just saying it to myself. So yeah, I think
I am scared to fall in love...
again?
People keep telling me I should try harder.
But I don't see them trying hard.
So I guess they can't see how freaking hard I am trying.
But I can see them not trying much and just telling me what I should do.
"‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect"
~*Simple Plan
I tell you more things then I tell my friends.
I act the way I feel with no pretending, and sometimes people tell me my blogs scare them because I was always the happy and perfect one.
but they are wrong, because now I don't tell people anything and I spend my time thinking to hard and not smiling as much.
I have been told I was different last year but then again so was everyone else.
I got tired of pretending and hiding how I felt, tired of fake smiles and unreal laughter. so I stopped pretending but it makes me hide more, no one knows the truth about way I am sad lately because I am to scared to talk about it because that would make it real, no one understand how alone I always feel or how forgotten I feel even tho I never left.
Dear Blogger, sadly, you are my best friend.
Love, Elizabeth Marie Paladino
"The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core"
~Secondhand Serenade
I gave my mom money today just so I would not be left out.
I bought my own threadless shirts because its all you guys ever talk about
and I was finding it annoying and I would say it but no one cared.
So if you some how have the same ones I spent MY money on
I don't care I am going to wear them anyway, but I did not get any that anyone has talked about or that I have seen
~*221 days*~
So today when my mom came home around 5 I was on the computer finishing my vocabulary which was the words I could not find in my dictionary. She was carrying the mail and put it on the table. I went to the kitchen to ask her about my vocabulary, which she knew the answer to. and then she was looking through the mail and 2 things had my name on them so she gave them to me. One was from my church which I guessed was about confirmation, which it was, and the other was from the school so I was a little confused. I opened it up to read this sentence "It is with great pleasure the we invite you to attend the Waverly Shell Rock High School's Academic Awards ceremony..." my mom then asked me what the letter said so I told her and she was so excited she told me that no one had ever gotten this letter and was really proud of me. I always thought everyone was part of the academic awards thing when I heard about it last year but I guess not since none of my brothers ever where apart of it. Today my mom made me feel the happiest I have in a while because she was really proud of me and actually cared, and lately it feels like no one really cares... just like I always feel. Then I told her I was really hungry and so she made macaroni & cheese and hot dogs, that also made me happy because I really like macaroni.
I just want to point out I never freak out about what grades I get. My parents do but I never let that pressure me and look I have achieved something great for just trying to do my best and also living a real life.
~*225 days*~
Everything just keeps going down hill.
I want it to stop.
Anything good that happens 2 things bad happen.
For every person mean to me, there are none nice enough to make it better.
All the caring I do towards others never comes back.
I have mutilated all my fingernails from biting or picking at them and picked of skin from them when I get angry or sad or some other random reason.
I just wish it would all go away and everything be better.
P.S.
I fucking hate Mr. Lehman & Hannah Theis
~*226 days*~
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