Everyone Else

Everyone else knows
but no one tells

I don't know what happened
and might never know
I see the way the act different for you
I can tell something is going on
your eyes say somethings wrong
but the words you say to me are
nothing that I need to know to help

I am fine
nothings wrong
don't worry
nothing happened
*no response*

how is that going to let me understand
let me help or even let me know to back off
I try to get inside you... nothing works

I worry more then I should
some days you act fine and dandy
others you just do nothing
or get upset at everything

You are not ok.

Everyone else knows

but one person does not

I don't know.

Tell Me

please?

when you get hurt by someone
when you fall in love
when you cry
when you do something amazing
when you do something bad
when you regret
when you lie
when you want a hug
when you want me to go away
when you need help
when you need to just let it out
when you are angry
when you think I did something wrong
when you are upset by the world
when you just live
when you wonder
when you feel at your worst
when you need the truth
when you think everyone hates
when you feel alone
when you trust me


I don't like hearing things about you from others
I wish you would just tell me... and not a week later
not through friends
from you to me

I want to understand why you are you
why you sit so still
why you look so helpless

Because I want to help
but I can't if you don't tell

If I find out a few days or even weeks later what really happened
what help is that to either of us?

I would tell you anything
if you would just tell me a little

That is all I ask for
just a little of your life

please?

Is it bad?

Is it bad I cry because your going on with life?
and I seemed to have stopped without you

Is it bad I tell you things that I hate about someone?
and I do some of the same things

Is it bad that I blame you for not trying?
and I try less then you

Is it bad that I do nothing all weekend every weekend?
and I complain we never hang out

Is it bad I complain about you never calling me to talk?
and I never call anyone

Is it bad I sit at the computer all the time just staring at my IM?
and I never talk to you

Is it bad that I tell you that you can tell me anything?
and I tell you nothing

Is it bad when I get mad at someone I tell everyone else but not you?
and I just pretend I am fine with you

Is it bad that I feel like every song I hear relates to me?
and I say the song lyrics are so fake

Is it bad you live so close?
and I never think of just having you over for no reason

Is it bad I put others before you?
and I wonder why you put others before me

Is it bad I write everything on blogger?
and I just dont tell you

Is it bad I say complements from people are not true?
and I say similar things to others

Is it bad that I expect others to know the answers to everything?
and I am asked something and never know the answer

Is it bad I expect people to fix my life for me?
and I dont really try to help others

Is it bad I take my frustration out on others?
and I hate when people do it to me

Is it bad that I say "I love you" to much?
and I sometimes say it to people I dont like at all

Is it bad I have the most energy when I am alone?
and I am less fun when people want me to be hyper/happy

Is it bad I spent my sunday alone?
and I even know why

Is it bad that I could keep going on and on and on?
and I am stopping anyways

what really is bad?

You, are the one I once admired

Every since I meet you so long ago
I found you amazing

We became friends
and you seemed to always laugh and smile and say funny things

Hanging out together was fun and always crazy
I could count on you to make me better

When we got a little older I always kind of looked up to you
I found you pretty and smart and always knew what to do
I was so happy that you liked me

I have known you since forever and I am positive we have never had a fight
but... maybe because we both just... keep things to ourself

We use to be so similar... now I think we are just friends and not much more

As we both have grown up I think major changes have happened
some not so good and others well... I cant think of something good

We use to be Best Friends
now its as if
we are barely friends

You have become more quite and more sad
You dont tell me the things that happen anymore... I always just hear from others
You smile and laugh less
You struggle through things and I dont know about it till its at the worst
You seem so alone all the time
You are the one I admired but now

I am sorry to say... I dont anymore
yea, you are still pretty and smart
but you seem to never know what to do

You keep letting people walk over you
or push you around

I always thought you were someone who was strong
but sometimes you look so meek
and I try to help but I never know whats going on with you

I always see you just thinking about the things that are upsetting you
the things I know nothing about

I bet I say thing that dont help at all or might make things worse
and maybe you dont always want me to hug you or ask you to smile
but I really miss the way you use to be

Sometimes you make me so worried
even tho you tell me everything is fine
I feel nothing is

I hate seeing you at your worst
when you are down
and that I have no idea how to make it better
how I can get you to laugh more

So whenever you want to just tell me everything, somethings, or even nothing
I am always here and always will be because you mean the most to me
I have known you since what when we were six?

You are the one I once admired
now
You are the one I want to understand and help
no matter what it takes I am willing to make things better for you.

My Mind

If you could look into my mind this is what it would be


Speech
Speech
school
seeing Jordan Thomas<3
speech
Nathan
nerd posse
English test tomorrow
music
more speech
how my day was better then its been
books I should read
life decisions
growing up
love
SPEECH!!!


thats about it for today

Hug

1.to clasp tightly in the arms, esp. with affection; embrace.

2.to cling together; lie close.

3.a tight clasp with the arms; embrace.

Three different ways to say it
but in the end everyone knows what it means

Sometimes I think it is used to much
but then other times I wish people hugged more...

I guess it depends on what the hug really means
~*love
~*friendship
~*just because
~*no real reason... everyone else was/is

I love it when people hug me because usually it makes my day better
or lets me know that someone cares
but then there are the times it feels fake and unloving

I always feel better when someone gives me a true hug that they mean
when they hold me tight and never let go
and I wish people would do that more

If you ever see me just... around
feel free to come give me a hug
it might brighten your day the same way it does mine

I am always here arms open for when you need that one hug to fix everything
or not

but everyone loves a good hug.

Thanks For Caring

Thanks.
It helps

Love,
Elizabeth

Friends

Are what make people the way they are
they can make you happy or sad
cheer you up or even bring you down
but in the end you love them no matter what

I feel that I never tell my friends how much they mean to me
how much I really need them and all the great things they do for me
so today I decided I would tell them all.

~*Jordan Thomas
wow. the time we hang out gets smaller and smaller but when we do its amazing.
We say/do the most random things and then look at each other and just start laughing.
We use to get together a lot... and that made our friendship great
but now we get together less... and not to be mean but our friendship use to be better
yeah... I know that we both say we "try" but I think I am going to try a lot harder
you can do what you want but I miss the old times with thousands of inside jokes
now nothing is really funny... and I miss the funny
just like I miss you

~*Brianne Power
Our friendship pretty much got the strongest this year. probably cause we have classes together
and just... because
we have had our ups and downs but now I think we are good
and that nothing bad will happen... or at least I hope so
we come up with some pretty weird things and I sometimes laugh so hard I cry
but thats ok because it makes me forget about all the problems and sadness that is in me

~*Samantha Niles
We meet in 4th grade but at the beginning we were not really friends
I don't know when or how we became friends but man I am so glad
every time I am around you and have a beverage in my mouth it ends up out my nose :-P
but thats fine cause then we laugh about it forever
I love that I can just be crazy when I am at yourself and no one really cares... that much
you always say how that when I am happy and all that stuff it makes you feel better
and that makes me glad cause then I know I can be there for you. forever

~*Samantha Brooks
I have known you FOREVER
and you have always been there for me
I hope you know I am always here for you... because sometimes you seem like you need someone just to be there
I know I always say you can tell my whatever and whenever but I respect that you dont
just say everything to everyone but sometimes...
that makes me worried, I worry that you keep to much to yourself and that sometimes
you should tell your friends things so they can understand what is going on
I am ALWAYS here if you need me or not, to talk or just to be there

~*Nicole Mittelstadt
When we were younger we hung out more... mostly from the bus and all
we see each other less... but it does not really feel like it
we have done some crazy things... LOBSTER
knowing that their is at least one person close enough to just walk over to makes me feel better sometimes others it makes me wonder why we hang out so little but... anyways
I am glad that that one random day in 5th grade we just... became friends

~*Heidi McNulty
sorry if i spelled any of that wrong
I have "known" you forever because of church
but not till this year really known you
maybe my friendship with Brianne made us friends but...
maybe it just happened
how ever it did I am glad
but... I have nothing to really write about you... but I will fix that soon
like by hanging out more :-P

~*Faithe Guyer
well... the band room door/steps make me think of you
and that very random day that we just clicked
I think we have been friends ever since
your hugs make my day brighter
talking with you just makes me smile
and being with you... wow that just makes my life better
I don't really tell you everything that is going on with me
but yes you seem to understand me completely
and some day I might just tell you everything
because I trust you enough its just... I don't know if I trust myself enough

To you all
~I trust you
~I love you
~I need you
~I hope you feel the same

I love you, my
Friends

Memorizing

Is hard work

Small time limits make it worse
it controls your life
all you do is read and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat...

I get distracted
I would rather talk to friends
I think of other things
I just get tired of trying

In the end I hope it all pays off
I hope I can pull it off as well

I keep trying and trying
but I am not one for memorizing

I would just rather
live. laugh. love.

So...
if you are suppose to be working on individual speech
go do it now, time is short and getting thin
and we all know we want to make state

So now I must go get my script
and spend my night working hard
instead of spreading my love

I will be closed up in my room, alone, and feeling so unloved
just because I am trying to work hard
on my

Memorizing

Helpful

Being helpful is an AMAZING thing to do
others like it and if you want someone to do something
and they do it feels good

like today my mom said if i was bored i could organize the cabints in the kitchen
I did.
it took my a little over 3 hours
but when she came home she was impresed
and payed my $15 and got me DQ

it made me realize how much helping someone
never really happens anymore
and I think more people should be more helpful
so instead of writing a really long blog i am going to ask you to do something

YOU.
stop reading my blog and go do something
helpful

Phones

I have strange issues with phones

1)I want a cell phone
2)I don't really like calling people
3)I like when people call me to talk

yea... some how it works like that

but I guess if i had a cell phone
I would find calling people different but thats not going to happen soon
and since no one ever calls me
I guess I don't really think about talking on the phone
maybe thats why i get scared/nervous to call people

so I found on the internet that there is a real fear
telephonophobia
I don't think I really have that
but I think I need to get over my slight fear
because then i might have more plans in my life
and be less bored

I guess I worked a little on overcoming it today
because, yes, in the end I did call Sam
even tho it was pretty much forced
but i called her and talked on the phone

I think I am getting better already :-)
or nothing really changed
but... whatever

so in the end
Phones
can be scary but good
so don't be afraid, and just call someone

Love

Happy Valentines Day!! <3

I love you all

some more then others but... whatever

wish I could have seen you all

but things happen and I still love you

Love,
Elizabeth

For Today

blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
blog
for today

nothing deep or emotional really happened
hmmmm I guess thats good... or not

P.S
love
love
love
love
love
...

I am done

I am done with all
the hate
the anger
the shit
the bitchiness
the lies
the rumors
I am done with it all

It is just making my life suck... a lot
and I am guessing its the same for you
all of you

so just stop.
think.
and breathe.

Take a moment to realize its just making things worse
nothing is getting better
and it should just all stop

think of others but also think and do what you want
it is your life do what ever the heck you want
I am tired if messing with peoples lives
make your own decisions

Right or wrong
for now on no matter what you choose
I promise to think about it
and do whatever you will let me do to be there for you
or I will just back off and let you live your life

But forever on I am going to be
a happier more helpful person
I promise because

I am done.

Natural Beauty

The world is full of beauty
but most people only see beauty when they want to
and in the form that they think beauty comes in

such as
people
mountains
oceans
flowers
and other big things

But when I see beauty
sometimes I am not expecting it

A few days ago is when i noticed it
I had to take the dog out
its was 9:30pm
almost below 0 and I did NOT want to be outside

When I got out there
I stoped. I was shivering and wanted to go back inside
but then I looked up
it was a very very clear night and I could see the stars
they were bright and I think I even smiled
while looking at them for awhile I could even see constilations

It made me think about what really is beautiful
and how much of life I take for granted
and not really see things for what the are

And because I think about all this stuff a lot
I wonder how many other people ever really see the world
not just the things others see and things that shout
hey look at me!!
but the things you have to be willing to wait and look for on your own

So for now on
I hope more people will take the time
to actually enjoy life
and as they say

Stop and smell the roses.

Name

Elizabeth

consecrated to God

Gender: Female
Origin: Hebrew

that is what my name means
and where it is from
but also, Liz means the same thing
but it is usually just used in America

My name is Elizabeth because its from the bible
and that is my mother named me that
when I was born she never wanted people to call me Liz
and when I was younger she made sure everyone called me Elizabeth

For some reason that I do not remember this year people have decided to call me Liz
and it use to not really bother but lately it has
I think its because when everyone called me Elizabeth I never had so many problems
and now that everyone calls me Liz I feel like a different person
not in a good way

so please I am asking this one thing
please just call me Elizabeth
because hearing that makes me feel like someone different someone better
I am sorry if you find it hard but it would be very great if you could try
thank you

Love,
Elizabeth

Behind your back

It makes me feel bad
these things I do
I say things you'll never know
I say things
behind your back

I try to stop
I feel bad when I do it
but when I do it helps me
its not good but it does
I am not holding in my emotions or feelings
but maybe I should be telling you
to your face not
behind your back

Sometimes I try to tell you
but most of those times you seem not to care
I try explaining
I try telling how I really feel because you said I could always do that
but in the end most things that would make a difference I say
behind your back

I guess its because I am afraid of what might happen
afraid that the truth would ruin us
but would that be better then not telling you
should we be full of saying things about each other
behind each others backs

Or should I be brave
and try to tell you
face to face
the things that you might need to hear
the things I say
behind your back

I try so hard but i am afraid and worried
I already hurt so much and I want it to stop
and the things that help the hurt feel less
is just telling and telling and telling others
behind your back

So now
I promise completely
to stop. saying things
behind your back


If I feel something weird towards you
I promise to tell you
and I hope you will not make me feel like it does not matter to you
and I also hope you will not get mad at me
for doing what you said I could instead of saying it
behind your back

You said I could always tell you anything and that you will always listen
so sometime soon I might test what you said
and find out how much I really mean to you and if you really mean what you say
because I have never seen you prove it to me
and for all I know you might be saying stuff
behind my back

For now on, for everyone,
I will stop saying things

Behind your back

Sorry

sor-ry ; adjective : feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, or pity

that is what it really means

now... think about what you meant last time you said it to someone

was it really any of that?
or where you just saying it to have something to say
how do others know when you mean it and when you dont

I know when I say it i mean it so much
but others might not think I do
so everything I am going to say I mean... a lot

I am sorry I doubted you
I am sorry I hated you
I am sorry I lied to you
I am sorry I hurt you
I am sorry I broke your heart
I am sorry I gave you hope
I am sorry I broke a promise
I am sorry I forgot you
I am sorry I over reacted
I am sorry I did not do what is best for you
I am sorry I thought of only myself
I am sorry I am not always myself
I am sorry I hide things from you
I am sorry I used you
I am sorry I fell for you
I am sorry I shared to much
I am sorry I will never be the same with you
I am sorry I have emotional break downs
I am sorry I am sometimes the typical teenager
I am sorry I have so many things to forgive
I am sorry I will not share them all

I am sorry.

True Friend

This was not really about me but.... yea. just think about it.


You say that you are "friends"
you might go as far as saying "best friends" or something similar
but how do you know if thats really true
saying something does not make it true
the way you act does and sometimes... that proves what you say is wrong

One day you say best friends the next day you leave them out
what happens after that?
do you slowly slip away
or
magically become best friends again
think about that...

Next time you are trying to decide who to hang out with
don't so much think of the friend you like the most
think about the ones you are slowly going to not have

You might not notice it
and they might not show it
but deep down the ones you leave out
will fade away from you

And you will think about how much you think they have changed
but really they just decided to move on
and they might not look hurt but really
they probably hurt more then you will ever over them
because they had to make the decision to move on

You cant pretend to be friends forever after awhile it will just stop.
you might not realize it for awhile but then it will hit you
and by then they will not care if you want them back because they will find new friends
and have new plans
and then you will understand how they felt but... it will be to late

Next time you have to chose friends maybe think about that
it will save a lot of pain and a lot of tears
and maybe if you are lucky
it will save a friendship... or maybe more then one.

Trust

It is such a small word but has such a big meaning

How do you know if you really can trust someone with everything
of course most people you trust with small things but nothing really.... life changing
but who can you trust with everything...
can you even trust yourself with everything

If you cant trust someone then how do you think they will be able to trust you with anything

All people want is to be trusted by other people
but how can anyone really know if they can trust someone
if they hide everything from each other
and even from their self

As teenagers all we want is to be able to trust all the ones we love and care about
and have them trust us back but thats not always true

We sometimes need to tell someone how we feel any
and sometimes... we make bad choices about how well tell
not just because they might have not kept what you wanted to them self
but because you did not tell someone that might have never told a single soul what you said or even that you might have spent the whole night talking to each other and maybe crying but in the end you felt better and they learned more about you

I don't know much about that because for me it never happens
people don't come to me trusting I will keep everything they tell me safe
but also I don't go to other people usually i just keep it inside and never tell anyone

So I guess I am not that good when it comes to trusting others
but today I realized how much I wished people trusted me
and decided that if I want that maybe I should trust others the same way I want them to trust me

So now I am going to give every person a chance for me to trust them
and I hope others will realize how much I try for people to trust me
because I really will care about what you want to talk about
and i will try my best to help and make you feel better

So please just trust me