I don't know how to start

I have no idea how to start because I have no idea how it stopped
I wish I knew how to fix it all, because I am really starting to miss you...



Do you even notice?

How did it happen?

All this drama and shit in my life.

This worse part is I have no idea what to do about it... any of it.

I just keep digging myself deeper...

Anyone want to pull me out of this hole?

You can never forget.

I thought I forgot how to...


I had built myself up so strong;
I had to deal with him and his games
I learned how to handle the heartache
I dealt with her and her bitchiness
I got over him and his ways
I remembered how to laugh and smile more
I told people how I felt
I learned more about who she was
I started to tell my mom more
I did what I wanted, not what others wanted me to do
I became more of my own person
I learned how to stand up for myself and what I thought was right


Then I remembered how to...


I read one simple, nice things you wrote on my facebook wall.
And it all came back, streaming down my face
at least this time they were kind of happy and not as bad
no headache followed, no bright red face
just the relief of knowing you still care and that I can still make your day... or as you put it your life.


I thought I had grown-up by not having it happen for a few months even...
it just goes to show, you are never to mature to cry. no matter what people say.

~*Happy Birthday Nicole <3*~

I wish I knew...

what to write
who to trust
how to knit
what to do
who to love
where I belong
how to feel
who I am



I never know what to write about anymore, it all just comes out like crap.

I have a new best friend

and he pretty much always makes my day without even trying. =D

I never thought I would get myself into this mess...

I wish you would actually keep your promises.

I love you.

My great discovery

A new movie =D

April 17, 2009 * wow what a great day ;) *

starring... Zac Efron

its called 17 again and I found out about it by a preview when I went to see High School Musical 3 in Cedar Falls, I am way pumped.

I wish I was turning 17 and not 16, that would make it 10 times cooler

One step forward and two steps back.

I don't know what I think or feel anymore.

I hate him but I like him.
I want to hurt him but I want to hug him.
I make fun of him but I defend him.
I know he lies to me but I trust him.
I see him flirting with other girls but I see him talk to me.
I get upset but I can tell that he knows its because of him.

I really wish all of this stuff would stop, but its been like a month and its all still here.


~*5 months and 16 days*~