The real meaning...

This year I don't get a christmas. No real tree. No presents. Few decorations. Max has to go to the kennal on like the 23 or 22. My brother is getting married in New York City December 28, 2010... yeah I know thats a happy thing and Im excited. I like the girl too. but we have to drive because plane tickets are really expensive around the holidays and we have 6 people to take. so we rented a van and leave December 25 around 10:30-11am and we get home Januaray 2, 2011. I told my parents I was old enough to handle it but it still makes me sad... we have a very little fake tree and that is it so far and probably all. I know most people would think its great but Im missing out on a lot. Yeah for the 2nd time I will remember I get to see my whole family for the holidays and I get to spend a week in new york and see shows and go shopping and watch the ball drop live... but my brother gets to bring his girlfriend and my boyfriend doesnt get to come. My dad hates that we are staying there so long so he is going to be grumpy most of the time... but Im still excited, I just wish I could have christmas and a wedding.

"Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh"