Dreams

When you wake up
crying, screaming, or sweating
its because of your dream...

so if a dream is so real are they trying to tell you something

if you never remember your dreams for months
and then the one you remember feels so real... is it trying to prove something?

if you dream of old friends and the way things once were
is yourself trying to tell you things were better then

but no one REALLY knows how it all changed
we all know parts of it but there is no way to put it all together

and to look back at it all now it makes me cry
i lost some of my closest friends
yea... I got new ones but
they have never really been there for me like my very first friends my very favorite friends
and how I lost them was the fault of my new friends the ones that say nothing will rip us apart
and already I am losing more friends
I trust people less, I love people less
I spend days alone because no one REALLY wants to hang out
we all say it but its never true

The other night I had a dream of this


A time when I was always happy when I felt like I was in the right place

and a few days before that I had a dream of something even better
fifth grade
when I thought I had finally found my friends that I would never fight with and never lie to
Samantha Brooks, Emily Bruns, Samantha Niles, Nicole Mittelstadt, and Aditi Patel
and it was always
Elizabeth and Sammy
Emily and Sam
Nicole and Aditi

and in my dream I was the happiest I have ever been


If I would have a dream of right now
I would see the tears my friends give me
the fights I have
the jealousy I get
the loss of two friends
Sam and Sammy *Sammie or how ever it is now*
Brianne and Jordan
Nicole and Heidi
Liz *which I don't even like being called* and no one
and you all say this is the happiest you have been with a group of friends
maybe me being unhappy means something

Yea... I have a few happy things
an amazing boyfriend
new friends a grade older then me
at the moment thats all I think of

next time you remember your dream try to think what it is trying to tell you


this blog kind of makes no sense...
but I don't care cause if you read it you probably don't care
but its how I feel

Love, Elizabeth

P.S. please don't write me some dumb comment about caring blah blah
if you really are afraid of losing my friendship you would tell me in person
Because I have told people in person... but so far no one seems to care